Joseph's Surgery

Today, Joseph had some minor surgery done at Brenner Children's Hospital in Winston-Salem.  We'd known that this surgery was going to need to be done since birth, and we are very glad it's over.  It was relatively simple, and outpatient, but it had to be done under general anesthesia, and I don't think any parent wants to see their child "put under" at any age, but much less at only 9 months old.  I was nervous about things because Joseph wasn't supposed to breastfeed past 4:45am this morning.  He wasn't supposed to have solid foods past midnight, but Joseph likes breastfeeding better than solids anyway, so I wasn't super worried about him going so long without that.  But I was worried about him going to long without nursing.  I woke him up at 4:20am this morning to nurse him and then put him back to bed.  David took the day off of course for the surgery.  So we woke up at 6am this morning to give Joseph an early morning bath before his operation.  Poor little buddy - he just looked excited to be a) in the bathtub so early (this child loves a bath) and b) the fact that daddy was going to be off with us on a weekday.  He had no idea that the rest of his day wouldn't be quite as fun!  So off we headed to Winston-Salem!

His surgery was scheduled for 9:45am, and we were told to get to Brenner's by 8:45.  Always ones to get places early, we got there around 8:25am. 

The pediatric surgical waiting area at Brenner's has a very cool fake boat built in the middle of it for the kids to play on.  It is called the "U.S.S. Tiny."  Joseph had fun walking around on it with mommy and daddy and looking out the portholes as we waited to be taken to pre-op...

He also happily played on my lap for a little bit...

When we got back to the pre-op room, a number of people came to help get him ready for surgery.  They asked how Joseph's separation anxiety from his mommy and daddy was.  I told them it was pretty bad, and sure enough, as soon as the lady picked him up, he totally flipped out.  She immediately handed him back to me, and said they'd give him something to help him relax.  They gave him some medicine to suck down, and within about 12 minutes my fussy little man was totally relaxed and babbling away happily.  It was like a baby version of being drunk!  Lol.  He enjoyed playing with a sweet little stuffed penguin they handed to him, and I couldn't get over the preciousness of him in his little hospital gown...

God works in such amazing ways, and, after all of our nervousness about the anesthesia, the anesthesiologist that would be taking care of Joseph shows up and it happens to be a guy I knew from the singles group at Calvary Baptist Church when I lived in Winston-Salem!  He is a very very nice person and I knew he was a strong believer, so David and I both felt SO much better after seeing a familiar face and knowing Jojo was in good hands.  We then kissed him goodbye and went back to the waiting room.  The surgery took a little longer than we had expected, but other than that, things went great.  They would only let one parent go be with him in recovery, so I went back.  I was able to nurse Joseph and that helped calm him down (he was VERY hungry) and hold him while they took his IV out.  Pretty soon, we were getting our sleepy boy dressed to go home.

He was tired, but after being loaded in the car he already had enough energy to play with his Oball football...

And now, after being back home for several hours, Joseph and David are resting comfortably...I'm not sure who was more exhausted from the ordeal!  ;-)

Thanks for all who prayed for us!  Joseph has had so many little medical issues since birth, but this is just one more thing that is behind us!!! :-)

Changing My Tune on Extended Nursing

"It is the lucky child who still breastfeeds past two years old." -former US Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop

Confession time: For most of my life, I was one of those people who thought that breastfeeding much past your child's first birthday was just, well, weird.  I have always known that breastfeeding how I want to feed my children, but I definitely thought that, after 12 months, or maybe 14 if you really wanted to stretch it, it borderlined on something that was just wrong.  I had thought that, with my kids, by the time they blew out the candle on their first birthday cake, the nursing bras, nursing pads, and nursing pillow would be packed away for the next child and, when that last child is born, packed away for good at the one year mark.  My, how my thoughts have changed.

The change in my thoughts on this matter started when Joseph was around 3-4 months old.  I loved breastfeeding, Joseph loved breastfeeding, and I saw how incredibly beneficial it was for him physically and emotionally.  I started to think that, since we have a deep freezer, maybe I'd just pump a bunch to freeze and, after his first birthday, give it to him once or twice a day in a sippy cup.  He'd get the nutritional, cognitive, immune, and other health benefits of breastmilk, and it wouldn't be quite as "taboo" as continuing to nurse into his toddler or preschool years.  By the time he was 6 months old, I'd realized that, while my sippy cup plan would be wonderful for his physical health, it wouldn't really serve any function in his emotional health.  A cup is not a mother's skin.  It lacks the warmth, and the closeness.  A child doesn't have to be cradled to drink from a cup.  I think sippy cups are fabulous for water, and for juice.  But they are no the same as breastfeeding.  And now, as Joseph has hit the 9 month mark, I am a full-fledged advocate of extended, or "full-term" breastfeeding.

What exactly IS "full-term breastfeeding?"  Full-term breastfeeding means that you basically let a child wean at his/her own pace, instead of at a set age.  Now, lest you think this concept sounds crazy, let me point out that anthropological studies have shown that throughout history AND around the world today, weaning is typically completed when a child is right around 4 years of age.  Biblically, children were generally nursed until they were AT LEAST 2 or 3 years old, some considerably longer.  Probably the main argument that so many people have AGAINST breastfeeding a child past infancy is that it becomes an "odd" thing, as in somehow sexualized and wrong.  They often use the argument that, "When the child is old enough to ASK to nurse, they are too old to breastfeed."  This thinking used to be mine.  But I saw something once that answered this question by saying "Well, my child asks for apples...should I stop giving her those, too?"  The dysfunction of my logic was suddenly clear.  Basically, from my research, a child has no sexual awareness (beyond the simple "Hey, I have different parts from my brother/sister" curiosity created sometimes at bath time of young siblings) until around 5 years of age.  Before that point, they are not capable as viewing their mother's breasts in a sexual manner.  They just view them as an infant would view them - a source of nourishment and comfort.  On a cold day, a cup hot chocolate is a source of warmth and nourishment for me.  Am I going to develop an inappropriate attachment to the mug?  No, because I don't exactly have the ability to view the mug in a sexual manner.  I don't blame people who stand by the "If they are old enough to ask, it's too old" argument.  I don't think they are weird, or ignorant.  I thought the same way for most of my life.  It wasn't until I broke down my logic, and realized it's errors, that I changed my mind.  All this being said, let me temper my thoughts by saying that, seeing as how their is a point when children develop that sexual awareness, I do believe there is a point in which weaning is necessary if the child has not done so on his/her own.  I saw a tabloid article online entitled "I Breastfeed My 13 Year Old."  Okay, I'm sure this wasn't a true story considering the source.  But if it WAS, then clearly this child is WAAAAAY past the age of sexual awareness, and I think this is an issue that should be addressed and corrected with a family counselor.  But a 2 1/2 year old is simply thinking "Wow, I get to snuggle close to mommy and get fed...how comfortable and secure that makes me feel!"

Another lesser used but equally inaccurate argument is that children don't "need" breast milk past 12 months of age.  Will a child suffer endlessly because they were weaned at 12 months?  Certainly not!  But there are so, so, so many benefits to nursing a child for longer than a year.  A 2001 study showed that 448ml of breastmilk per day in the second year of a child's life provided them with 29% of their energy requirements, 43% of their protein requirements, 36% of their calcium requirements, 75% of their Vitamin A requirements, 76% of their folate requirements, 94% of their Vitamin B12 requirements, and 60% of their Vitamin C requirements.  Combined with a healthy diet of solid food, breastfeeding a toddler leads to an incredibly nutritious lifestyle for the little one. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding a child until they are AT LEAST 2 years old.  Studies have shown that weaning prior to age 2 increases the risk of child illness and mortality, because immune factors in human milk continue to rise in concentration as breastfeeding continues.  Breastfeeding for longer is not just beneficial for the child, but beneficial for mom, too!  When a mother does NOT "full term breastfeed," she increases her risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, osteoporosis, rheumatoid arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and type 2 diabetes! Clearly, breastfeeding for longer has incredible benefits for mother and child.  Here are just a few of the additional benefits for children who breastfeed into their toddler and preschool years...

-IQ scores, grades in school, and scholastic achievement are the highest in children that have breastfed the longest.

-Breastfed toddlers have healthier, glossier hair due to their high protein consumption.

-Breastfed toddlers have better hearing due to their lower incidence of ear infections.

-Breastfed toddlers have better vision due to their high Vitamin A consumption.

-Toddlers who breastfeed for an extended amount of time have leaner bodies and a lower risk of obesity.

-Breastfed toddlers have smoother and more supple skin.

-Breastfed toddlers are less likely to suck their thumbs, and thus less likely to have misaligned teeth.  Longer nursing also improves a child's dental arch.

-The comfort of nursing is a natural painkiller for the bumps and bruises that come along with the wild exploration of the toddler years.

-Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to provide a toddler comfort and reassurance when traveling to unfamiliar surroundings.

-Child-led weaning (weaning on the child's pace) allows children to achieve independence at their own pace and helps ensure their security in that independence.  It decreases the child's frustration and stress as they move through toddlerhood.

These are just SOME of the benefits of continuing to breastfeed a child past his or her first birthday.  The full list would be nearly endless.

There are a number of reasons that I may not be able to fully practice full-term breastfeeding with Joseph.  Depending on when we expand our family with a new pregnancy, I'll have to examine my extended breastfeeding plan and adjust accordingly.  Breastfeeding can make it difficult to get pregnant again while you are still actively nursing, and if you do many OBs (mine included) want you to wean by 20 weeks of pregnancy to rule out the concern of breastfeeding bringing on early labor.  But rest assured, I'll breastfeed Joseph for as long as I can without causing problems in our family expansion plans (and provided he still wants to, of course).  I do hope that, with all of my children, I'll be able to breastfeed at least somewhat past a year.  I have a husband who is supportive of this idea, too, which is incredibly helpful.

More and more mommies are beginning to practice full-term breastfeeding.  It's becoming less and less the exception, and more and more the norm.  Most, but not all, of my nursing friends have decided to keep on nursing past the one year mark and many are planning to do so as long as their child wants to.  I now smile, instead of internally judge, the women I see breastfeeding their three year olds.  I know that they are just doing something for that child that has been proven to be physically and emotionally beneficial for both mother an child.  I don't look down upon those who still have a hard time with the concept of extended breastfeeding, but I do hope that the increase prevalence of it will make it more and more accepted in years to come.

July Highlands Trip and Cow Appreciation Day

"A cheerful frame of mind, reinforced by relaxation...is the medicine that puts all ghosts of fear on the run." -George Matthew Adams

For July 4th this year, we took another trip to Highlands, NC, to see David's family, as they have officially moved there full time now!  His parents have retired, and his brother-in-law has a job at the Highlands-Cashiers Hospital.  It is wonderful to have them 4 1/2 hours away instead of 12 hours away!  Sadly, it poured down rain almost the entire 3 days/4 nights we were there.  But we didn't let that dampen our spirit!  

We got to meet our 3rd and newest nephew, Bennett!!!  He is so precious and it was so fun to snuggle a little baby again!  Although, he's a big boy, and Joseph is still very small for his age, so I think Bennett will catch up to him and pass him pretty soon! 

I got some great holding time with Bennett, and so did David...

We got some great pictures of Joseph with all three of his cousins - Ryder, Ace, and Bennett...

As well as a photo of all four boys with David's parents.  Four grandsons!  This family knows how to make some boys, for sure! 

I love this picture of David and his sister, Lindsay, with Joseph and Bennett.  So cute!

Joseph had a fantastic time with the boys.  Here he is having a blast with Ryder.  Look at that big smile!!!

He and Ace were able to share Poppy's lap...

Joseph took to Uncle Ben very quickly...

And had a great time playing with a ton of toys, some of which we brought with us, and some of which his big cousins were sweet enough to share with him...

He even got to take a nap every day on Poppy's chest!

And he practiced his sippy cup skills while we are at the Bistro on Main...still working on it...

And, I just have to be a typical mom and maintain that I have the most precious baby in the world.  Look at this sheer cuteness...

We are thankful for such a fun trip and for special time with family!!!

Another cool event of July was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-a.  We are huge supporters of Chick-fil-a because of their Christian values and ethics.  I don't want Joseph to grow up eating a great deal of fast food, but when he DOES get a craving for some not-so-healthy stuff I sure hope Chick-fil-a is where he'll take his business!  So when I heard that you could don cow costumes and get your food for free, well, I knew I had to jump at this chance!  I always wanted to participate in Cow Appreciation Day, even before we had Joseph, but when I was working outside the home I didn't have time to make costumes.  So I was determined that, now that I'm in my new job of being a stay-at-home mom, I was going to find a way to make us look like cows!  I went to Hobby Lobby (another store with values similar to Chick-Fil-A whom I love to give business to) and purchased my materials.  I came home and spent the rest of the day making cow shirts for David and myself, an entire cow outfit for Joseph, and tails for all of us.  SO MUCH FUN.  We went the next day, got our free food, and were told by the staff of the Friendly Center Chick-Fil-A that Joseph was "the cutest little cow they'd seen all day."  I'd have to agree!

Oh this sweet baby boy, how I adore him!!!  I'm so thankful for the fun things our little family gets to do during the summer!!!

North Myrtle Beach 2013

"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net forever." -Jacques Cousteau

Back in mid-June, David, Joseph, and I, took our annual trip to North Myrtle Beach.  This is our 4th trip there since we got married, and our first with Joseph.  This year, we headed down on a Wednesday morning and came back Sunday afternoon.  We stayed at Ocean Drive Beach and Golf Resort, which is legendary in North Myrtle due to it's decades-old nightclub, the Spanish Galleon.  Clearly, a child keeps us from being nightclub type people, but we love staying there nonetheless.

On Wednesday, we continued a tradition we've had since David and I got married - to intentionally take a very back road, cooky route to get there.  We've very much gotten into the concept of "slow travel."  If you aren't familiar with that concept, you can easily look it up on Wikipedia.  But to give you a short description, it's pretty much the idea that the "journey is just as important as the destination" and a concept that encourages one to go "off the beaten path" on their way too and from somewhere, both for enjoyment and education.  It's something we very much want to continually promote with our children, particuarly since we are planning to homeschool (thus making EVERYTHING an educational opportunity).  So we have figured out the trick to getting the GPS to take us some crazy ways in order to take in a little local culture and scenery.  Here we are, literally driving down a DIRT ROAD that went between two farms/fields right after we crossed into SC.  This is a "public road" but you wouldn't know by looking at it for sure!  I had a good time pointing out the cows to Joseph...this child loves to learn already!

 Growing up, my family had a tradition of stopping at the Flying J Truck Stop in SC as a bathroom/snack break on the "last leg" of the journey.  David and I like to combine traditions from our childhoods, but we also like to make some nuclear family traditions of our own. So early in our marriage, we made our regular "on the way to the beach" stop Sparky's Fireworks in Marion, SC.  It's super tacky, a major tourist trap, and the bathrooms aren't nearly as clean as the Flying J.  But it's our tradition, and we love it.

I cannot really tell a lie in writing this - Joseph wasn't the most content baby on this trip.  A number of factors I think threw him off, and my sweet little "high needs" man was pretty fussy the entire vacation.  He wouldn't even sleep in the pack and play and had to sleep with us every night.  Not to mention all the crying.  All that being said, it made for a memorable trip and one we will look back and laugh on for years to come.  We did manage to get some good pictures of the happy moments...

We played on the beach every day.  Joseph loved the sand...

He wasn't 100% sure about the ocean itself.  He is so small still, and I think the noise and vastness of it made him nervous.  He'd put his feet in it, but other than that when we'd hold him in the ocean he'd cling to us very tightly.  He comes from two ocean-swimming, wave-riding parents, though, so I think he will grow to adore it when he gets bigger (incidentally, David and I took turns riding waves while the other one held Jojo)...

He enjoyed the outdoor pool and lazy river, as well as sitting beside them and people-watching...

The indoor pool was REALLY his thing. It was a little warmer, and he had an absolute ball (not sure why we got so many pictures of him sitting on the indoor pool steps...maybe because it was easy to get pictures there)...

We went to Barefoot Landing a couple of nights while we were there...always love to go walk on the bridges and browse the stores.  Also, we practice babywearing in the Boba with Joseph so much that he hardly ever rides in a stroller.  But it was a bit too hot down there for much babywearing (except a little at night), so he had so much fun in the umbrella stroller...

One of the nights that we came back from Barefoot, I snapped a picture of my two loves outside of our hotel...
One of the trademarks of our Myrtle Beach trips is that we eat out for dinner every night.  We eat in for breakfast and lunch, but it's just easier to go out at night.  And it is nice not to have to cook after a long, fun day.  So, out of four places that we ate out at, we managed to get pictures at 2 of them...Carolina Roadhouse (a regular for us)...

And Key West Crazy in Little River, SC (just north of N. Myrtle).  This was a place we'd never eaten at before, and I'm SO glad we did.  The food was wonderful, and we sat on the back deck RIGHT on the river.  Here is the view of the boat parked right beside us...

What an eventful trip!  Thanks for reading about our summer vacation!!!  We can't wait to go back next year!

Randomness for Today

I haven't had time to do normal blog posts recently, much less random ones.  But, exceptions do happen, and here are three TOTALLY random things that I had on my brain today:

1) David and I met with a financial advisor from Fidelity Investments yesterday to talk about some retirement stuff and get Joseph's college fund going.  He asked me when I was planning to go back to work.  We told him that we were planning to homeschool our kids until college, and that even then I may not re-enter the workforce.  The advisor marked me down as "retired."  I found that really funny - for one, it's hard to think about retirement at age 32.  For another, in many ways my life is busier now than it ever was when I worked outside the home, so I don't feel very "retired."  I realize he had no other way to code it, but I just had to laugh.  But really, it made me think about how much I love life as a homemaker.  I fully realize that full time homemaking would not be interesting to everyone, in the same way I have little interest in, say, accounting.  Or archaeology.  Or dentistry.  But for me, it's the perfect fit.  David often talks about how he prays that we will be in a financial situation after our kids go to college that I won't have to re-enter the workforce unless I just want to.  I can't help but think that would be a wonderful option IF that's the Lord's will.  It's not that I don't enjoy working outside the home, but there is nothing I like as much as taking care of things here, and attempting to make our home a peaceful haven for my husband and a welcoming place of hospitality for others.  Call me old fashioned, but that's just what I love!  The investment advisor showed us where we are right now in terms of being on track to meet our retirement goals for when David retires one day (like I said, they already have me marked as "retired") and I was pleased.  We are not nearly as far off the mark as I would have thought.  Things actually look doable, and it's only through the Lord's blessing.  I am thankful and excited about what our future holds in terms of raising our family and then living out our golden years together.

2) I went bathing suit shopping today.  Ugh.  Our play group is going to the pool tomorrow, and we are also going to Myrtle Beach later this summer, so I knew it was time.  I don't think any woman ever things it's fun, but geez, it's much worse postpartum.  I'm coming to grips with the fact that 9 months of pregnancy changes your body, and I know I'm supposed to look at those changes as badges of honor because of the gift of motherhood.  But it's hard when you are trying to squeeze yourself into swimsuits that are a few sizes bigger than what you wore pre-baby.  Part of me just wanted to wear my maternity bathing suit from last summer for comfort and ease, but I got brave and decided to shop anyway.  I found something that is decently cute.  Could I put three of my teenage selves in there?  YES.  But, I am thankful for a sweet baby boy that caused some of these changes, and for a husband that thinks I look beautiful regardless and tells me so, too. 

3) Marriage stuff.  I've been reading a book that deals with Christian motherhood and marriage.  It speaks a lot about making sure that motherhood and other things don't zap the spark out of your marriage.  I don't think David and I have ever had our spark fully "zapped," but like any couple keeping the focus on your marriage becomes harder and harder when you have children.  I think a lot of women get so exhausted that they tend to get very critical of their husbands, no matter how hard their husbands are trying to help or do the right thing.  I liked this quote in the book from Heidi St. John..."Our homes should be places of rest and security.  In a hostile and busy world, marriage should be a sanctuary.  The culture we live in has abandoned the sanctity of marriage, largely because we have abandoned God and His heart for marriage.  Try to see your marriage as as opportunity to be the wife God created you to be.  When you do, it can change your life.  Instead of criticizing, pray for him.  Love him.  Prefer him.  Grow old with him.  The impact you will have by living out and then leaving behind a legacy of love with reach far into future generations."  What a wonderful reminder I thought this was of what we want to build our roles as wives to look like!

Okay, how's that for three totally random, unrelated thoughts?  I don't know, maybe this was just a waste of blog space for most of my readers, but I just felt like sharing.  Everyone have a great week!